#she literally did and that is in fact the source of the psychological damage

[weirwoodsugar]

ok anyway. i’m killing reblogs/replies on that tully/cat post bc everyone gets on my nerves but let us consult the text for a moment. cat stark isn’t a big mean evil step mother out to get him the entire foundation for the dynamic between her and jon is that he does not exist to her. every memory he has of her is about her ignoring him/looking at him like he is a stranger. she makes up what she thinks he is like after the fact because she functionally never met him despite living with him for 14 years. the single on page interaction they have is when she is in the middle of a nervous breakdown. i need people to have some precision about what this dynamic actually is because it is bad in a very specific and interesting way that affects both characters in a very specific way. the “this is not your place” situation is not grown out of active cruelty it is grown out of total absence

[cosmicjoke]

How Levi's and Zeke's Role as one another's Foil is demonstrated through the Parallels and Contrasts of their Relationships with Kenny and Grisha:

As we know, Levi and Zeke are positioned in AoT as foils for one another, which I’ve spoken about extensively in numerous posts, going over all the ways in which they’re obviously, intentionally contrasted against each other.  But I was thinking today, another way in which Levi and Zeke are contrasted, is that while Zeke became bitter and angry at his circumstances growing up, and in response decided he wanted to lash out and make his father pay for ruining his life by destroying the very thing Grisha fought for, i.e. wiping out the Eldian race where Grisha wanted to restore the Eldian Empire, and in turn, without any real awareness I think, convincing himself he was saving people from suffering while in fact inflicting it and even reveling in it, Levi went in literally the opposite direction.  Instead of wanting to make others suffer for the suffering he’d endured, instead of wanting to make Kenny pay for ruining his life, he sought to save people from those same experiences and prevent them from having to live through what he did, showing exceptional empathy and compassion toward others.  And for anyone who thinks Kenny wasn't abusive toward Levi, or otherwise want to deny in any way the immense harm he caused Levi, I'll direct you to these posts I've written about just how genuinely abusive and awful Kenny was and the psychological and physical harm and danger he subjected Levi to:

https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/714444060984737792/the-psychological-and-emotional-impact-of-levis?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/714626354972360704/part-2-of-the-psychological-and-emotional-impact?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/714804308475052032/thinking-more-about-the-ways-in-which-kenny-failed?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/714990189976698880/more-thoughts-on-levi-and-kenny?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/750230226046468096/love-seeing-people-trying-to-downplay-the-damage?source=share

It really speaks to the contrast in their characters, that they both responded to similar situations in starkly different ways, both fundamentally and philosophically.

Unlike Zeke, whose every move was essentially made in service of getting revenge on Grisha, Levi never ended up wallowing in Kenny’s abandonment of him or being driven by a desire for revenge, but was instead driven by compassion and a sense of obligation to use his strength for something positive.  Again, I think that fact demonstrates the absurdity of people claiming Levi is some revenge-driven person.  He’s literally the opposite.  It’s why there’s this cognitive dissonance in these people not being able to comprehend why Levi doesn’t want to kill or hurt Annie, for example.  Their understanding of Levi is fundamentally flawed, and because of that, they think it’s out of character or bad writing on Isayama’s part, that Levi shows no interest in paying Annie back for what she did to his squad.  If they could just understand that Levi isn’t and never has been a vengeful person, they would realize that his attitude toward Annie makes perfect sense.  Levi was never egotistical enough or self-interested enough to be into revenge. 

Ironically, really, for all that so many people labor under this misconception that Levi is a vengeful person, it's actually Zeke who was always revenge obsessed. Yes, Grisha was an awful father, but he wasn't, in fact, a bad person. He was just incredibly misguided and dealing with his own, horrific trauma, rooted in deep guilt over what happened to his sister. I think this is important to acknowledge in order to better understand, again, the contrast between Levi and Zeke and how they act as foils for one another, narratively and thematically speaking.

What Grisha experienced as a child was truly horrific, and it led to him being blinded by his desire to right the defining experience of wrong from his childhood, so much so that he wasn't able to see until it was too late the damage he was causing Zeke. But he never set out to really hurt anyone. That doesn't mean he didn't, and this isn't meant to serve as an excuse for Grisha's abuse of Zeke. He very much was abusive and should absolutely be held accountable for that. But much like Zeke himself, Grisha lacked the introspection to realize the harm he was causing, and unlike Zeke, and in turn, unlike Kenny, he never actually deliberately hurt or enjoyed hurting anyone.

In contrast, Kenny very much was a bad person, someone who made a literal career out of murdering people and who very obviously reveled in and enjoyed violence. Someone who one might even say worshiped the idea of violence, and who through that attitude routinely exposed Levi to this idea of killing for pleasure or simply the idea of "might is right". And unlike Grisha, Kenny was never blind to his actions, either. Kenny always knew exactly what he was doing. He knew he was a bad guy and knew the things he was exposing Levi to and what he was trying to make Levi into were bad. We know this because Kenny had a secret desire to be good. Of course, his idea of how to become good was completely warped. He believed that in order to be able to be a good person, one needs to be strong, that one needs ultimate power, and we see Kenny's own, rotten nature play out in his willingness to cut anyone down in pursuit of that desire, undermining with each murder his own pursuit. We see the deep and ironic contradiction there, between Kenny's actions and what it is he's trying to obtain. But again, Kenny never labored under any delusion that what he was and what he was exposing Levi to were somehow good or noble pursuits. He didn't think he was setting Levi on some holy crusade for the greater good, the way Grisha believed he was doing with Zeke. He just viewed Levi as a project, a means of testing his theory of "might is right", experimenting as a means of proving his belief that only the strong deserve to live, immersing Levi purposefully into a life of horrific violence and brutality and seeing if he was "strong enough" to make it.

I lay all this out to demonstrate how, even though Levi had every cause to despise Kenny and desire vengeance against him, knowing full well what a terrible person Kenny was, knowing even that Kenny was fully aware of the harm he was causing Levi himself, he never became consumed by or even interested in such a pursuit. Kenny abandoned him and Levi carried on with his life. Zeke, in contrast, assumed Grisha was a terrible person based solely off the fact that he was neglectful toward Zeke and put too much pressure on him to fulfill a certain role, and off of that assumption, made it his life's mission to destroy his father's dream. I think this really demonstrates perfectly a fundamental difference between Levi's and Zeke's natures as people.

Going back to how Levi and Zeke serve as foils for one another, Zeke is a largely negative character, whose motives are rooted in negative feelings, i.e., this belief that life is meaningless and nothing but suffering, bitter anger and resentment at his father for not giving him enough love, unappreciative as a result of the love he does receive, such as from his grandparents and Mr. Ksavar, and a level of self-absorption that renders him incapable of perceiving or considering the thoughts and feelings of others.  That’s contrasted against Levi, who is a largely positive character, whose motives are rooted in positive feelings, i.e., this belief that life is precious and, while being painfully aware of its cruelty, still believing it to be worthwhile and being driven by an intense desire to save lives, a tragic gratitude for the single, good memory he has of his mother’s love and elegance, and a level of selflessness and empathy that renders him more compassionate, kind, aware and considerate of the thoughts and feelings of others than any other character in the series. 

And again, I think we see that deliberate contrast between Levi and Zeke in their opposing attitudes toward their abusers.  We see how much Zeke hates Grisha, how his hatred for Grisha really consumes him and drives him toward becoming very much like him, so bitter and hateful and consumed by revenge that he neglects others and their desires completely, essentially continuing the cycle of abuse, and how that differs from Levi and his attitude toward Kenny, how Levi became in every way that counts the opposite of Kenny, someone who values all life equally, regardless of whether a person is strong or not, someone who believes the worth of a person’s life isn’t determined by their strength or usefulness, someone who prioritizes allowing others their agency and right to choose for themselves. 

Both Levi and Zeke sought approval from Kenny and Grisha respectively, but while Zeke made it his life’s mission, basically, to stick it to his father for never giving him the love he sought, Levi never developed any such hatred for Kenny. Yes, he clearly was deeply hurt and was angry at Kenny for abandoning him, and clearly he thought of Kenny as a selfish and bad person, as is demonstrated at his shock when Kenny gives up the serum. We know from this that Kenny was never generous with Levi at all. But Levi never hated him.  We see that in his final interaction with him.  He blamed himself for Kenny’s abandonment of him and thought it must be something lacking in himself that caused it, whereas Zeke completely  blamed Grisha for his neglect  and feelings of misery, and grew to so despise him that, again, he essentially used his hatred of him as an excuse to inflict more suffering upon others.

I think the way Isayama frames Levi and Zeke as foils for each other is really brilliant.  There’s so many examples, none more so than the way they’re contrasted during the raid in Liberio.  I wrote a post about that here, specifically, if anyone is interested in reading it: https://www.tumblr.com/cosmicjoke/691063405819379712/further-observation-of-the-core-contrast-between?source=share

[twinsarekeepers]

Let me preface this by saying, I’m a pre-med student who works in a psychology lab as a research assistant and has also worked in a doctor’s office with actual patients. A lot of my opinions about this ending are informed by that aspect of myself, but that does not mean I don’t understand the incredible weight and horror of Joel’s decision either. I am also a writer and the narrative of a parent’s love being that destructive is so compelling.

However, it’s not more important to me than making sure people know how egregiously terrible the Fireflies are. Because the logic that something can morally outweigh informed consent is what has led to some truly horrific, catastrophic events in our REAL human history. Henrietta Lacks, the Tuskegee study, and the CIA’s fake vaccination drive in Pakistan come to mind immediately for me. These are all events that I encourage everyone to learn about.

Putting all that aside for now, objectively, Jerry Anderson was stupid and wrong in every way possible. You never ever want to completely destroy the subject you are working on, ESPECIALLY if that is the only one you have. Because wtf are you going to do if your experiment doesn’t work? You killed the one source! Literally anything would’ve been better than KILLING ELLIE?? Killing her should be the very last resort after exhausting every other possible avenue, which they didn’t. (Before someone tells me that I need to suspend my disbelief … no. The whole show is rooted in realism and that this is a possibility SCIENTIFICALLY … so I’m going to think about it with my science brain, I’m sorry!)

Now onto the part that I know y’all are going to get your panties in a twist about, Ellie herself and her capacity to give consent. Which in my opinion, coming from someone whose literal job it is to get informed consent, she did not have.

Bodily autonomy and agency is obviously very important but you would never let your child run into oncoming traffic because “oh, it’s their body and I’d be violating their autonomy and agency if I physically held them back!!” Like no. That’s a child that doesn’t fully grasp what they are doing or what is going on around them so you as the adult must make the decision to not let them harm themselves.

Ellie is a slew of red flags to someone who would be searching for participants for an experiment. For one, Ellie is a child. Getting informed consent from a child is already hard because their brains are not developed enough to fully grasp and understand what they’d be agreeing to. Two, Ellie has gone through immense trauma and is suffering from the worst case of survivor’s guilt to possibly ever exist. She literally feels like the only way to compensate for her loss is to die. She is the definition of passively suicidal. The way I would rule her out of a study so fast and send her links to every helpline I know. And yes, I know that she can never actually get the help she needs. But in my opinion, she is not in any way able to give consent and Jerry and nurses should’ve been very aware of that.

So, the fact that the Fireflies are just medically inept, and on top of that, didn’t care to get consent, and even if they had, it wouldn’t matter because Ellie is not in a position to be making that kind of decision, makes them very, very wrong.

Does that make Joel right? No. Because Joel wasn’t thinking about any of that. He believed that the Fireflies knew what they were doing, that they had a shot at making a cure and he also knew what Ellie would want (again, she’s still not a position to give consent but JOEL DOESN’T KNOW THAT BECAUSE HE’S NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL) and he still chose to save Ellie over … the entire world. And then he lied to her about it.

(And the lie was to protect her emotionally because he knows she takes on so much blame and he doesn’t want to cause even MORE damage and pile on top of that insane survivor’s guilt … but lying to a teenager is never the way to go, they always know).

TLDR: it is very, very complicated!

[northstarwomenblog]

Why hello there! Here's some questions from the fictionkin meme:

❔ - How did you figure out you kinned this character?

🤝 - What's your relationship with this kintype (ie spiritual, psychological, etc)?

👕 - What sort of clothing do you associate with this kin?

💥 - What skills or abilities did this kin have, if any, that you can't do now but wish you could? (ie superpowers, languages you don't speak, skills you don't currently have, etc)

🔮 - Have you ever predicted something about your source material before it happened based on kin feelings? (For example, having a kin memory that lines up with something that happens in your source before you ever knew about it)

👥 - Do you have any canonmates for this kin, and/or are you interested in finding canonmates?

thank you for sending this ask!!!!!!!!!!

❔ - i figured out i was starlo kin cause of. well its a really long story BUT the short of it is i finished playing undertale yellow and he was my favorite and my friends started joking about killing him in their runs to give me psychic damage and it made me feel personally attacked for some indescribable reason and i ended up ranting about it hours after they had stopped and then they were like "hey you might be fictionkin" and i was like "oh that would. make so much sense." and then that night as i was falling asleep i re-experienced a memory of the part of the pacifist route where ceroba flung me against the wall so hard that i passed out when i was trying to stop her from fighting clover. and that basically solidified it for me.

🤝 - uhhhh mostly just neurodivergent if im gonna be honest. so mental/psychological i think?? i dunno, im still very new to this stuff. i talk about it like it is a past life even though i dont believe in past lives, and im pretty sure its just because i am extremely neurodivergent that i kin starlo.

👕 - COWBOYS!!!!!!!! i get so much happiness from wearing the blue scarf i crocheted recently cause it reminds me of my blue bandana i wore! also overalls any generally any farm-like clothing. makes me so happy and like i am in the right body :D

💥 - magic, like every monster!!! it feels so incredibly weird to not have magic and not be able to summon a magic floating gun wherever i want or to just sit still and summon a small, harmless bullet to juggle around in my hands when i get bored.

🔮 - not really cause i didnt kin starlo until after i completed the pacifist route, and any other memory i got came after i finished that route, unfortunately. unless in canon i was in fact transmasc. if it gets confirmed that i was transmasc in canon then that would be one thing cause the game is so new that i wouldnt be surprised if anything new gets confirmed about me lol.

👥 - yes!!!!!!!!!!! i have several sourcemates and i have one canonmate!!! my beloved friend @yellowclovers who found out he was clover kin literally minutes after i found out i was starlo kin. and then turns out we end up having memories that line up with each other. cause he remembers having awoken after the ut pacifist route and when going out to search for one of their friends, they found out via martlet that i had died and that ceroba was also still dead. which lines up with my memories cause i come from flawed pacifist in which i died not long after wishing clover good riddance. we are still very good friends though and i forgive him for everything now that i played the game myself and understand the pressure they were put under. it wasnt really their fault, after all, as much as it sucked.

i would also love more canonmates,,,,, especially a canonmate ceroba. i know a fictionkin ceroba but she does have enough memories for me to confirm if shes a canonmate or simply a sourcemate. though i suppose it would be bad to wish to have a canonmate ceroba because she literally died in my canon so i mean.

ANYWAYS!!!!!!!! thank you for sending in an ask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really appreciate it :D

[sokkastyles]

And it really calls into question how we think of Stockholm Syndrome and how there are so many phrases and ideas in our culture that we don’t examine enough, especially for the subtle ways they undermine women’s agency. Stockholm Syndrome is not a recognized diagnosis or disorder, and there are no accepted criteria for diagnosing it. But that doesn’t stop armchair psychiatrists from misapplying the idea to things like women in abusive relationships.

But Stockholm Syndrome is not the same as abuse, in fact, it’s a potentially very flawed idea that fails to encapsulate all the complexities of human emotion, survival responses, and psychology. The actual accounts of the Stockholm situation are far more about the hostages learning to see their captors as people, and developing empathy (which is what most of us do when we meet people).

It is, essentially, human nature for someone in such a situation to feel (and inspire) empathy for their captors—which would better increase their chances for survival—and to reduce it to a syndrome is a way of reducing women’s feelings and humanity to something both outside of their control, as well as equivalent to mental illness and insanity.

The conflation of women’s feelings and actions with mental illness has a long and terrible history. Not just in the sense that women’s tendency to be “ruled by their emotions” is the basis for so much sexism, but the very concept of “hysteria” which literally means madness from the uterus. The pernicious idea that being a woman makes our decisions suspect, our perceptions of reality invalid, and our actions not our own is incredibly damaging and yet that kind of sexism is baked deep into our culture.

The fact that the term Stockholm Syndrome was coined as a way to explain away women’s experience and agency, and even used to dismiss other women’s accountability for their own decisions, is very telling. but honestly not surprising. Society goes out of its way all the time to make women seem unhinged or stupid or just incapable of their own decisions. Let’s not allow that to continue.

- (source)

Considering recent discussions about Zutara and problematic shipping, I am fascinated with this and the way that Katara having empathy for Zuko is pathologized in-story as part of a narrative that she’s overly emotional and irrational. How her bonding with him while they’re both held captive is turned into some lurid capture fantasy by the play, and how Bryke themselves accused their female fans of idealizing abusive relationships because of the popularity of Zutara, even though Katara's empathy for Zuko was a natural result of caring for someone she saw as another victim like her, and even though Zuko apologized to her first, and when he hurt her, she held him accountable.

People use "Stockholm syndrome" so often to talk about enemies to lovers ships or Beauty and the Beast-esque narratives under the guise of protecting women, and that also applies to the discussion of certain fanfiction tropes, capture fics, arranged marriage, and other tropes that explore sexual dynamics in a dark or dubcon way.

But, going back to the Zutara example and how certain parts of the fandom paint it as abuse because of the mere possibility of an unequal power dynamic, and, on the other side, Zutara fans who scramble to assure the rest of the fandom that they only ship it in the most “pure” way to combat accusations of apologism, a lot of this seems to stem from a preemptive desire to protect women from not abusive men, as is the expressed purpose, but from themselves. And this goes back to the Stockholm situation as well. The man who coined the term did so because he was trying to explain why a female victim might resist his attempts to define her experience. If you look at Beauty and the Beast, for example, which often gets these accusations of stockholm syndrome thrown at it, the person in-story who is most invested in the narrative that Belle is crazy for loving the Beast and doesn't know her own emotions or what’s good for her is Gaston, the guy who wants her for himself.

It's also noticeable that Stockholm syndrome as a label is almost always applied to romantic/sexual situations, even though the term originated from a hostage situation at a bank that was not at all romantic or sexual. People who say that zutara would enable a similar dynamic often praise Katara's friendship with Zuko and her empathy for him, her willingness to heal her enemy and her forgiveness of him later. But apply romance to the equation and suddenly that empathy is assumed to be something unhealthy. People say a romance would "belittle" their friendship, as if romance and friendship cannot exist alongside each other. There's a clear distinction here that seems to imply that romantic feelings, or at least, romantic feelings in women, are governed by irrationality. The pop culture view of Stockholm syndrome is of a woman falling in love with her captor, even though the original situation did not involve any of the hostages falling in love with the bank robbers. But this was used to explain and pathologize a woman's fear of the police who were supposed to rescue her. What it's really about, then, is a fear of female desire and female autonomy, especially sexual autonomy, and a paternal desire to keep women under control under the guise of "what's best."

[hyperbali]

Agatha Harkness Was Right, And Here’s Why

Alright. Finally had to sit down and write my way out of this quiet, internal temper tantrum, and a few people were interested in seeing what I had to say, so I present to you:

Agatha Harkness Was Right, And Here’s Why

Disclaimer: MASSIVE spoilers for the entirety of WandaVision, and I am not nice about it.

I’ll start off by saying that, for all its foibles, WandaVision was genuinely a good example of a property within the MCU/Disney umbrella that stepped out of the usual ‘good guys fight bad guys action extravaganza’ in a way that pushed the envelope. The pseudo-horror aspect of the first few episodes is something I would really love to see engaged with on a more thoughtful basis in future projects.

I would say that it proved to be more than a vehicle to promote toys, but… well…

Yeah. Anyway.

I’ll assume that you watched WandaVision if you’re reading this, but quick recap: In the aftermath of ‘the Blip,’ Wanda is left broken and alone with no one in her corner. Her biggest mentor willingly abandoned his team to get his own ‘happy’ ending (do not get me started on Steve, that’s a document in and of itself), her other biggest mentor is probably off enjoying his family while ignoring the incredibly racist killing spree he’s been on for the past five years, and her lover is dead. When she goes to claim the body, she’s told nuh-uh, that’s government property, please leave.

So she goes to a plot of land in the middle of some nowhere town in New Jersey, which Vision apparently bought despite the fact they were living a pretty decently comfortable life in Scotland, where she looks at the deed that Vision drew a heart on and wrote ‘To Grow Old In’. Very sweet. Kind of weird, considering nothing of this caliber had ever been suggested for either of their characters and they’d been actively running from specifically the U.S. authorities? But sweet.

She has a breakdown and, in her grief, contains the entire town of Westview and all 3,892 of the people in it in her own personal paradise, where nothing bad ever happens beyond sitcom hijinks, no one dies, and every problem is tied up and neatly dealt with by the end of an ‘episode’. Except we learn that this is only paradise to Wanda, who apparently shares the aspect of having to relate everything to her favourite pop culture with Tony, because everyone else in Westview is more or less being psychologically tortured by the incredible amount of pain she’s in, forced to be puppeted actors to make her happy.

Bear in mind, Westview might have been bigger at some point - we have no idea how many people survived the Blip, or how many have been brought back to life within the past few weeks of the current setting. Either way, this is a town that has already dealt with a lot of trauma being dragged into yet another awful, much more specific kind of emotional damage, thanks to ‘the heroes’. Nice.

Agatha Harkness, a witch who’s been up to who-knows-what in the 340 years since she drained the coven that tried to kill her for getting a little too ambitious into jerky, feels the massive expenditure of magical power and decides to investigate. All the while, she carefully uses her own magic to try and peek into Wanda’s psyche, her motivations, all while keeping up appearances and not letting slip that anything is amiss.

I’ll point out that she’s no saint here, either - she specifically keeps one Westview resident at her mercy, and knows what’s happening to the rest of them, but doesn’t attempt to stop it. I’ll chalk that up to her pragmatism; their ‘sacrifice’ was fine to her as long as she could figure out how Wanda could have done something so unheard of in terms of power.

What we come to learn over the course of the show is that, given everything that happened, Wanda didn’t mean to take over an entire town and tool it into her own personal slice of heaven. She very quickly became aware of it; we know that she knows it’s her own personal bubble as soon as episode three, when she’s confronting Monica about how the latter could possibly know about Ultron. Wanda is made further aware of how much damage this is inflicting on others in episode five, when Vision himself tells her that these people are scared. But still, she has everything handled! It’s okay! The outside world is worse, trust her!

Her handling of the question, ‘where are all the children of Westview,’ is one that bears some thinking - and, y’know, kind of more than a little concern. They’re allowed to walk around as part of the ‘Halloween special,’ but as Vision walks further and further out towards the edges of town where Wanda doesn’t have as much full control, people are just frozen in place, or conducting the same few seconds of action over and over. And fully aware of being trapped.

How are they being sustained? Eating, sleeping? If someone isn’t part of her storyline, is she just locking them down into a coma? What made Wanda decide that keeping the children ‘out of the way’ was somehow kinder than involving them, especially given her later argument that she’s been trying to keep the entire town safe and happy?

The fact of the matter is, she only actually starts to feel remorse for any of this after she’s confronted with the fact that, after weeks of being at her mercy, the townspeople of Westview would rather be dead than endure another moment of having to play nice for her enjoyment. She finally opens the ‘bubble’ to let them out - which leads to the ‘epic’ finale of three different entities trying to take down Wanda and her happy family: the S.W.O.R.D. military led by Hayward, the White Vision, and Agatha.

Winding back to how we got here: after Agatha uses her own trapped resident, Ralph Bohner (who, given his casting and the props in place during the last episode, I’m willing to bet is actually the missing witness protection person Jimmy was looking for) in an attempt to lure out Wanda’s reasoning - and fails - she’s pretty much done pretending. She tricks Wanda into her basement, nullifies her powers, and makes her face her own past to get to the truth of the matter.

Not going to lie, favourite moment of the show. Kathryn Hahn killed Agatha’s slightly-amused-slightly-irritated observations about Wanda’s coping mechanisms, and the whole arrangement was extremely meta. I would have paid real money dollars to see her do the same thing to the likes of Tony, Strange, and Loki. Hell, even just having her meet the rest of the Avengers? Augh. If wishes were fishes.

When Agatha comes to the conclusion that Wanda is the vaunted, nigh-indestructible force of nature that she’s literally spent her entire life reading about is the ultimate source of chaos magic and will likely bring about the end of the world, she’s pretty understandably taken aback. To that matter, the fact that Wanda… has very little control over any of it, and is using what she does understand to play housemaker? After how long Agatha has spent learning control, hiding in plain sight, just to be child’s play compared to what Wanda has at her fingertips? I’d be pretty pissed off, too!

The way that WandaVision handled both of the major ‘fights’ - Vision versus White Vision ending in philosophy, and Wanda ending up beating Agatha at her own game of deception - is excellent. A little grating that they had to go with the beat down angle before they got there, but this is MCU; punches and thrown cars had to get shoved in somewhere. And, given that this series very much played with the idea of grey morality, I was sort of hopeful that Agatha would end up in a not-quite stalemate arrangement with Wanda. She’s not as powerful as the Scarlet Witch, but she has the know-how that Wanda sorely lacks; in recompense for her own deeds, she would be able to teach what she knows while also kind of scheming on her own time.

Y’know, like what they did with rehabilitating Loki?

Except that Wanda, who has just gone through the entire rigamarole of coming to terms with the fact that she trapped thousands of people into a nightmare scenario against their will, rendering them helpless to her mercy… traps Agatha into a nightmare scenario against her will, rendering her helpless to Wanda’s mercy.

That moment actually shook me. Oh, my god. We’re supposed to still look at Wanda as a good guy after this?

This isn’t even covering the incredibly awful confrontation with her and Vision where she tries to gaslight him into believing that everything is A-OK, or the fact that the person she gets most violent with (apart from Agatha) is Monica Rambeau, a black woman who spends most of the show bending over backwards trying to say that what Wanda is doing is understandable, justified, and just needs a gentle touch to be dealt with.

That could be its own document, too - how Monica, much as she’s incredible and definitely looks to be a really exciting addition to the MCU roster, more or less gets used as the Good One to absolve and enable Wanda’s actions. One of her last lines to Wanda, after seeing how the people of Westview (rightfully) look at Wanda like she’s monstrous, is “they’ll never know what you sacrificed.”

Sacrificed what? The fake husband and fake kids she made out of her own compulsion to pretend that everything is okay? None of that would have existed if she’d been given the proper resources to actually cope with how much loss she’s had to deal with. None of that would have existed if she hadn’t caused this problem in the first place.

In the end, Wanda flies off in her fancy new gear before the FBI shows up, avoiding any real consequences to her actions - which has pretty much been the running theme of her character ever since she was introduced to the MCU in Age of Ultron. The worst kind of direct consequence she’s ever gotten was being grounded to her room for a while, then kept in the Raft for, like, maybe a day - and both times, she was broken out post-haste.

Meanwhile, she worsened the issues in Sokovia (which, I will say upfront, was Tony’s fault to begin with), unleashed the Hulk on Johannesburg, got a pretty significant amount of civilians killed as bystanders in Lagos (hey, how come Wanda keeps turning a lot of black people into casualties?), and stood back in Wakanda to let their people try to fight off Thanos from getting to Vision until it was clear that there was no other option than for her to get involved.

Great Power Comes With No Responsibility At All, Actually.

Wanda, in the several years she has maintained her identity as an Avenger, has proven time and time again that she takes on innumerable risks without any full understanding of what they mean, allows others to take on the brunt of the fallout for her, and looks sad until she’s forgiven and moves on to the next problem. She has no business casually throwing around the kind of power that being the Scarlet Witch entails, not until she’s actually made any kind of headway into making reparations for what she’s done and tried, really tried, to get a handle on what she’s capable of.

Which she’s apparently doing in the last post-credits scene, astral reading the literal Book of the Damned on her lonesome in the mountains, but… without anyone to guide her, or give her any kind of boundary?

[I ran out of images I could post, but you know exactly what image I am referring to here]

Agatha Harkness was right. And that should terrify everybody that has to deal with Wanda in the future.

(P.S. Do we know if she actually even killed that dog? We never see her holding anything but a blanket, and characters go in and out of that show all the time. Granted, she wasn’t great with the cicada-turned-bird... hmm.)

Additional Notes:

“Well, you’re a Tony Stan, of course you think Wanda’s a villain”

I like Tony because he’s such an awful mess, and the narrative isn’t exactly kind about telling him what a piece of shit he can be! He reaped a lot of problems, created practically half the villains in the MCU, and ended up dying a martyred hero. Thanks to being the tent pole by which this franchise hoisted itself into a cultural powerhouse, he will always be their golden savior. If you want to read about how he’s the true villain of this entire affair, feel free to look up any number of takedown pieces about him that are out there. He’s a dick. I will never “uwu sad baby who did nothing wrong ever 🥺” him the way people do about Wanda.

“Why are you so pressed about this”

Because something as good in concept as WandaVision could and should have been about anyone other than the whitewashed, antisemitic take on Wanda Maximoff that MCU brought upon us. They put crucifixes on her wall in Civil War, for fuck’s sake!

“Weren’t you mad about them not including Aaron Taylor-Johnson”

At this point, I am almost kind of relieved the real Pietro wasn’t resurrected for this, because god knows they probably would have killed him all over again just to inflict that much more pain on his sister.

“Anything else you’d like to tell us, turbo nerd”

This was literally itching at me all weekend to write, so it’s more or less just to get it off my chest. If you powered your way through it, uh… thanks? Sorry if I yucked your yums, but I tried to be as clear with the disclaimer as I could. 🤷‍♂️

[thepapergirlandthespiegelman]

Might stop reading Worm.

Content warning: bugs/insects/arachnids and related horror, body horror mention, miscellaneous violence mention, sexual violence/assault mention

My thoughts on the first ten arcs of Worm. (contains spoilers)

So, I finally got around to reading Worm. It was kinda big when I was in high school, and I still know some people who are/were into it, so I thought it was time that I gave it a serious shot. I did actually try to read it in high school once, but I couldn’t get into it and stopped reading after the first chapter. I tried to be a little more persistent this time to give it a fair evaluation.

When I started reading Worm this time around, I kind of just breezed past the warning at the beginning (“This story isn’t intended for young or sensitive readers. Readers who are on the lookout for trigger warnings are advised to give Worm a pass.”) I don’t consider myself someone who really gets triggered by media. I think it’s important to talk about stuff, including fucked-up stuff. It’s uncomfortable, but that discomfort is part of the point. I think it probably should bother you to read about terrible things, even fictional ones, given that those fictional atrocities almost always have real-world counterparts.

I think I vastly underestimated the amount of fucked-up-ness that is in Worm. When I read that warning, I thought, “Okay, this story’s probably dealing with some dark themes, and there might be some particular scenes that are really disturbing.” After reading the first ten arcs, though, I feel it’s more accurate to say that fucked-up-ness is Worm. It is the core of the story, and there is really very little else.

So it’s not that any particular thing that happened in the story triggered an immediate, strong, psychologically-damaging reaction in me, but as I continued reading, I began to notice that not only was I not enjoying myself, I was actually finding it subtly unpleasant. When I read about something bad happening, I get hit with a small dose of negative emotion. As it turns out, that adds up over time, especially when there aren’t any positive scenes to balance out the negative stuff. Without me even noticing for a long time, Worm was making me unhappy.

Here’s what I did like about Worm:

Impressive world-building - Wildbow is exceptional at inventing different locations, groups, and individual actors and thus creating a detailed ecosystem of capes and civilians.

Lots of characters, lots of superpowers - Directly related to the previous point, Worm contains a lot of characters...arguably too many characters. I generally prefer stories that focus on a smaller number of characters in order to give each character more room for development, but I appreciate Wildbow’s talent for coming up with vivid, if simplistic, characterizations. There are also some really interesting superpowers and interesting takes on common powers.

Inventive use of Taylor’s superpower - Taylor is always coming up with new uses for her power: having black widow spiders spin silk for her suit, using her bugs are a sixth sense to keep track of her enemies and environment, using venomous bugs to take hostages, covering her body in bugs as a disguise, coating her bugs’ stingers in capsaicin for extra punch, using human-shaped swarms to fake out her enemies...The list goes on and on, and I really appreciate how Wildbow took this oft-overlooked superpower to the next level.

Danny Hebert - The only character in the story who I can say I genuinely like. Danny Hebert is a union organizer whose pet project is getting the ferry up and running again so that there can be more interaction between the poorer and wealthier parts of Brockton Bay. I also loved the scene where he supports Taylor in the “mediation” with her bullies and their parents at school. Even if he was impotent, unable to protect her, I could tell he was on her side. His one screw-up is when he locks Taylor in the living room and tries to force her to talk to him, but it definitely makes sense with his character (a little bit of a pushover) and the story (Taylor was shutting him out and seemed to be putting herself in danger) that he would end up letting Taylor’s grandma convince him to take a forceful approach. Don’t get me wrong, locking up your kid is a horrible thing to do (I should know, my parents did it to me, and it fucked me up), but I still ended up feeling bad for him when Taylor just up and disappeared. She didn’t even call her dad to let him know that she was still alive after Leviathan! I mean, on the one hand, I do actually appreciate that she started making an effort to protect her father from the dangers of her cape life, something that I was kind of appalled to see that she never even considered before. But damn, did I feel bad for Danny.

Here’s what I didn’t like:

Way too much fucked-up shit happening - Name an atrocity, Worm’s probably got it. The plot is mostly just terrible thing after terrible thing and reveals of how terrible all of the characters are, with many terrible things that aren’t directly treated in the plot peppered in along the way.

Lots of capes, no heroes - This is one of those themes that sounds deep on paper but is really just cynical and fatalistic. Even if all the capes are corrupted by power (or by the toxic power dynamics between capes), what about civilians? Where’s the thoughtful therapist or the brave fire-fighter? Danny Hebert is one notable exception to the “Everyone is terrible” rule, but we don’t see all that much of him. Other than him, the only person I can think of who could possibly fit this “civilian hero” role is Aisha’s social worker, who I don’t think even has a name.

All superpowers are evil - This is arguably just a rephrasing of the previous point, but I think it’s important to mention. Worm contains so many superpowers, but it seems like they’re all being put to evil purposes. Panacea, the superheroine with healing powers (really just dominion over health and illness of the human body in general), makes some really despicable threats (e.g. giving someone cancer with a touch, or giving someone a disorder that will only manifest at an unknown time in the future, leaving them to anguish over their fate). Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing inherently wrong with writing a character using this type of power for evil ends. There’s a lot of interesting stuff to explore there, and I actually love that Panacea is a character that acknowledges the burden of having a healing power, feeling unable to take any time for yourself while simultaneously growing to resent those you feel obligated to help. My issue is not with Panacea but with the fact that literally every superpower in the story is painted in a negative light. It just feels absurd to suggest that, for example, someone like Gallant couldn’t use his power (carefully and thoughtfully and with consent) to heal people with emotional trauma. Superpowers in Worm are only for violence and conflict and crime, and I just don’t understand that. Again, the rogues form a token exception, but we rarely actually see them, and one of the first rogues we meet, Canary, is immediately subject to harsh and unjust punishment and never heard from again.

A misguided focus on only certain types of crime/violence - Worm deals with gang violence, robberies, and general chaos-inducing terrorism. It focuses on crimes perpetuated by working-class individuals and small to medium size illicit groups. There’s some commentary on state-sanctioned violence in terms of the corruption of the Protectorate and Dragon’s worries of having to obey a despot should one take over the government, but it’s not exactly framed in a way that highlights the struggles of the average person; the focus is almost entirely on capes. Worm doesn’t discuss things like wage theft, illegal rent hikes, or, dare I say it, the inherent violence of capitalism, which, while less flashy, are important problems with far-reaching consequences. It’s weird, and honestly kind of unrealistic, that there’s not a single anarcho-communist cape. Whether you agree with that kind of politics or not, it’s still a glaring omission if the setting of the story is trying to emulate real life. Again, Danny Hebert’s role as a union organizer and interest in restoring the ferry and reintegrating the city pay token attention to some of these ideas, but the vast majority of the story is unconcerned with addressing the source of, or solutions to, poverty and crime in Brockton Bay and the wider world of Worm.

So those are my thoughts. There’s a part of me that still thinks, “But so many people like this so much! Maybe it’ll get better!” I have a really strong drive to understand why others like the things that they do, to be able to share in their appreciation. But from what I’ve seen in a couple memes I happened upon, things are getting worse, not better for the world of Worm. And even if things start to resolve at some point, I’m not sure it would be great for my mental health to continue reading up to that point.

The breaking point for me, if you’re curious, was when a main character was just casually revealed to be a serial rapist. That wasn’t even the point of the chapter, it was just kind of thrown out there as an extremely-not-fun fact. So I was still reeling from that reveal while also experiencing all of the atrocities said character was committing in the moment, and after that was when I realized, “Hey, maybe this is not the kind of content I should be reading.” It even took reading a few more chapters into Arc 11 for it to really sink in, but I had this weird revelation of like, I get to choose which fictional worlds I spend my time in, and the world of Worm isn’t one I relish.

If you do enjoy Worm, I’d be curious to hear your thoughts on what makes it appealing to you.

[cadomoisspokenfor]

Legion Rewatch Notes,

Chapter 4:

Frizzytop

I theorized in episode 2 that David could see through the 4th wall, or at least into a different universe. At the start of this episode Oliver outright breaks the 4th wall. Perhaps powerful reality benders just have that capability. If David knows, and Oliver knows, then Farouk definitely knows.

“A great philosopher once wrote, ‘In times of peace, the war like man attacks himself.’ This is the route of all our problems.”

“We are the route of all our problems. Our confusion, our anger, our fear of things we don’t understand.”

If we carry those 2 quotes throughout the rest of the show, then no doubt the tragedies that happen later on are caused by a collective misunderstanding of each other. And a collective lashing out at that misunderstanding of each other.

“Violence, in other words, is ignorance.”

The most central theme of the show is empathy vs fear. I s’pose whenever there’s a conflict in the show we’re supposed to be asking whether the characters should answer with empathy or fear. Certain characters lives have revolved heavily around fear. And that informs their decision making quite a bit. This will all come up again at multiple points throughout the show.

Syd... probably can’t break the 4th wall. So maybe it’s most logical to interpret this as her inner monologue. Very Jessica Jones esque.

The same voice lines from when Syd was searching for David in episode 1 are played. I guess there go to whenever Davids lost (whether in the world or in his mind) is to transmit Syds voice calling his name in hopes he’ll hear it and come back.

Kerry can pick locks.

The concept of “bad mutants” is well established amongst the veteran summerland crew. Ptonomy’s caution about David is probably because he feels he has a selfish vibe, and that’s a well known red flag of “bad mutants.”

It should also be noted he’s partly afraid of him because he has so much trouble understanding him. His powers, which when used affectively are essentially the ability to understand where someone’s coming from, keep getting overrided by Davids.

It’s now to the point where Ptonomy is doubting his own ability to tell what’s real and what’s not real. He was pretty confident he’d always know somehow in episode 2. Now, not so much.

Ptonomy very early on is open to the idea that David both has powers and psychological issues. “He’s unstable. You try hearing voices for 10-15 years, self medicate with hard drugs and then get dumped in a looney bin.”

Ptonomy also determines that because of his instability combined with the fact he has powers, David is a bomb waiting to go off.

I suppose if we’re trying to figure out their logic with the whole “the combination of being mentally ill and having powers makes him dangerous”, and considering that their right now going over an incident where David robbed his therapist for drug money and then bashed the doctors head in when he came back, the direct concern is that David makes bad decisions and/or selfish decisions (at least), and if he were to make a bad decision regarding his powers a lot of innocent people could get very badly hurt. Or killed. Along with the worry that the voices in his head don’t exactly give him the most angelic of advice at times, and because of his powers he’s very capable of fulfilling their wills, so to speak.

Based on Olivers speech at the beginning of the episode though, it might be safe to say the overall message is instead of acting on fear they should act on empathy and help David overcome his problems instead of vilifying him for his mental illness.

Syd suggest Davids hiding his real memories behind a fake ones and Ptonomy says she going through a lot of effort just to convince herself Davids a good guy. I never really got what he meant, but I guess what he meant is that Syd’s trying to find a justifiable reason for why David would attack Dr Poole like he did when the obvious answer is just “He’s got violent tendencies.” I always just thought she was genuinely hypothesizing, ya know, trying to solve the case. Maybe she was and Ptonomy’s just mean.

“I was looking for the man I loved. Or did I just love the idea of him? The face he showed me?” Doubt springs up early. Why can none of the characters reconcile that a person can have both good and evil in them at the same time? That’s... all people, in fact.

When Kissinger ask if Amy knew David had powers Amy says, “I think so.” Amy potentially acted on fear as well, in regards to her and Davids childhood that is.

Kerry mostly only thinks of herself in relation to Cary.

Cary misses Kerry when she’s gone. Even besides the roles they fill for each other, they generally enjoy each others company. They’re quite literally as close as 2 people can be. Each one living for the sake of the other.

Davids once again surrounded by a crowd of people all yelling in his face. After they disappear though he recovers pretty fast. I guess he’s used to it.

Clockworks Podcast pointed out that the music Davids wincing at is sax heavy Jazz, which is (abstractly) the sound The Devil With Yellow Eyes makes whenever he appears. If my theory about David seeing through the 4th wall is correct, then maybe he’s actually hearing that sound whenever TDWYE is around. Alternatively, Farouk blast that in his head everytime to mess with him.

“Sorry... I forgot about your um... I had a similar- proclivity? Malady? I forget the word- what’s the word? I’ve been here a long time.”

If the previous paragraphs are right, Oliver’s probably implying he was also affected by a mental parasite at some point. It might’ve even been what stranded him in the astral plane.

From Davids perspective he skipped over the entire second half of Chapter 3.

Oliver is essentially explaining the plot of the show to David and the audience before it’s even been unfurled.

“You have an unquiet mind, so you war with yourself, like a dog trying to chew off its own tail.”

David’s still in a very pessimistic guilt ridden place at this point in the story. That’s probably the internal war Oliver’s talking about.

... why can’t Oliver leave the astral plane again? If he did have his own mental parasite, it seems long gone by now. If he just can’t find his way back, then how does he do it in Chapter 7?

Syd calls non-mutants “normals.”

“We were the ghost in a haunted house.” ~Syd, Chapter 4

“You think ghost like living in a haunted house?” ~Syd, Chapter 12

Why does Syd keep hallucinating The Angriest Boy? Or is that just visual metaphor?

Ptonomy’s a very, “Get the job done and look classy while doing it” sorta guy.

“To fight and conquer in all our battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.” ~Sun Tzu, Ptonomy

Is the above quote perhaps relevant to the shows message during other conflicts throughout the series? Could it be subtly implying all the characters should always look for non-violent ways to defeat their enemies? I.e. not just a classy line from Ptonomy, but a statement of themes within the show.

The food David, Philly, and Dr Poole are having in Philly’s memories is cherry pie.

In Philly’s memory David says, “I don’t keep a lot of stuff.” And Philly comments that there’s no evidence David had a past. At least among the things David owns at that point. I know Farouk edited a lot of Davids memories, but why did David himself get rid of so much physical stuff? Syd said the reason he broke into Dr Pooles that day was to destroy their taped conversations. What’s compelling him to erase himself from existence? Is it as simple as “Farouk”? It seems like on a deeper level David doesn’t want anyone to know too much about him. Everyone’s only allowed to know what he tells them. His way of feeling in control I guess.

Philly did the classic “I can fix him” when she started dating David.

Philly implies David going off his medication and keeping bad company is what caused the downfall of their relationship. And subsequently his life, probably.

Despite everything, Philly still feels sympathetic towards David.

“Whoever altered Davids memory-“ Ptonomy very early on humors the idea that Davids being acted on by a 3rd party.

The longer Kerry is away from Cary, the more antsy she is for a fight. She’s not supposed to have to sit through all this “boring stuff.”

Ptonomy left after he got the info on Pooles location from Philly. He probably wanted to get the rest of the information from the source. Ironically, they probably woulda gotten closer to the real answer if he’d just looked a bit longer.

Sys proudly says “Yes” when “Dr Poole” ask if she’s in love with David.

It never really comes up again, but Kerry and Cary are physically linked. Maybe even psychologically. When one of them gets hurt, or even exerts their body a lot, the other can feel it, even if their own body doesn’t take on the actual damage. This is still true even if they’re miles apart.

Syds definitely portrayed as the hero at the end of this scene.

“All those years of practice-“ A part of David always knew he had powers. I wonder, did he practice a little in secret? Or is he saying he was at Summerland for years? That doesn’t really add up. But then... what does he mean by years?

Lenny encourages David to get angry so that his powers will strengthen enough for them to overpower the astral plane. Sort of... cheating his way out. David will later achieve more feats of strength through honing his emotions. Like many heroes, his level of power is intrinsically linked to his emotional state.

Very directly here, Davids violence is caused by ignorance. He doesn’t know Syd switched bodies with Walter and is trying to escape.

[hillbillyoracle]

Witchblr (for the Most Part) Doesn't Have the Gatekeeping Problem It Thinks It Does

I've been seeing this crop up in more and more posts, bios even - anti-gatekeeping statements. And I've tried to keep an open mind about it, to go "well maybe I'm just not seeing what they're talking about" but as I run into actual posts where gatekeeping is claimed, I'm really starting to think that Witchblr might not fully understand what the term means and why it's essential we don't adopt it from the groups who need it to articulate a very specific experience, one that Witchblr isn't capable of having just within itself as far as I can tell.

I don't know for a fact where the term originates but my first introduction to the term gatekeeping was through the trans community. A friend of mine was having to see a therapist, weekly, for 6 months, before she could get her therapist to write a letter that would enable a doctor to prescribe her the hormones she wanted to take. She'd researched them thoroughly, knew the risks and benefits very well, was fully consenting - but was being denied a substance vitally necessary to her mental, physical, social, and emotional well being.

Gatekeeping usually best describes folks who are not a part of a group getting to decide who is a part of said group. In this example, cis doctors and therapists getting to decide who is trans enough to access medical care they need. This is especially potent when other folks outside the group have easier access to the means than the group being gatekept. Such as when cis women have an easier time accessing HRT than trans women. That doesn't seem to mirror what I'm seeing in Witchblr posts where the word is used.

The power behind gatekeeping requires a level of organization that Witchblr as a community doesn't seem to have. And what's being denied are not things that are vital to folks' material well being but rather recognition and validation. I understand the confusion on some level. When forces with organized power deny folks validation and recognition, it often comes with the denial of material and social goods they need to survive. But the individuals out here writing their blogs largely cannot withhold what is vital and necessary to your continued existence. While we all do better with support, not everyone owes us that support and it requires an exchange to make it sustainable. Reading someone's work, even regularly, doesn't fit the bill. In my book, if you're in need of validation and support, you go to those people who already do or cultivate new reciprocal relationships with people who will.

The few cases where I've seen gatekeeping used to describe intracommunal affairs is in cases where the community is not equally privileged. And while there are a mix of privileged and marginalized folks in the Witchblr community, as far I can tell there's not a cohesive group that is considered more acceptable by folks outside of Witchblr who, through that acceptability, are shielded from the full weight of community specific oppression and ostracize less acceptable folks from collective resources to maintain that sheild. The closest I've seen to this (that isn't rooted in other intersections of identity) is that folks who who maintain a psychological view - "It's all in our heads but isn't that still real?" - of deities, magic, and divination seem to get a better reception than those who believe in other models and sometimes distance themselves from folks who believe otherwise but even then...doesn't quite fit the bill.

For internet communities in particular, I have a very hard time seeing the structures in place needed to enforce gatekeeping. Someone doesn't agree that you are [insert term]y enough for the [insert term] group they're personally a part of? Well there are likely a bunch more groups already established who would accept you. You also have the power to create, grow, and maintain your own. You have both resources and agency.

What I think Witchblr's usage of gatekeeping more often speaks to is many folks crave the validation of other people. They stake their worth and well being on disproving people. When someone says "you're not a witch if you don't do xyz" = they don't stop to think about what power that person has over their power or their practice. They just react. Someone is wrong on the internet and it's perceived as a threat.

Part of the issue is that Witchblr has a tendency toward projecting a practice rather than actually practicing. It's been my experience that when you spend more of your time doing your practice and you have a deep sense of your foundations - whether someone agrees with you or not quickly becomes irrelevant. What so many of the conversations on gatekeeping show me is that many folks do not have a strong enough foundation in what they believe and what they practice to understand who they are and what's relevant to them. They're filling that void with external validation.

Where Witchblr's "gatekeeping" usage becomes outright destructive or even dangerous is with it's continual insistence that people articulating positions well grounded in research and primary records are some how gatekeeping other people they don't agree with. Previous education does help but acting like every person who can defend their positions with source texts automatically has a degree or several is weirdly classist to me.

I went to rural schools the vast majority of my life. I have multiple learning disabilities, struggled hard, and never completed a college degree despite attempting twice. Money and my health stopped me. I was working class and now unemployed. I did not have internet at home for most of my adult life (and only part of my childhood). Like I am so close to the examples I see thrown around in these conversations and yet I have been told that by citing reliable sources that I'm elitist and classist.

Something we don't talk enough about as a community is that expertise has a lot less to do with privilege and a lot more to do with sacrifice. I chose to spend what free time I could practicing and researching. I could have spent that time watching Netflix, hanging out with friends, going hiking, etc. While it was also out of poverty, I chose not to accumulate things in my home that would take a lot of time to care for. I had a second hand hospital mattress on the floor and that was it - that was a sacrifice of comfort. I did not have a pet for the majority of the time I did my most intense studying so I could focus on my work - that was sacrifice. I did not have internet at home, largely because I couldn't afford it, but I embraced it as it created the ability to download a work at a public connection and take it home and sit with it deeply so that I couldn't reach out for other people's comments to filter it through. I only maintained romantic relationships that were low energy input and were thus less satisfying or close so that I could focus on my work - that was a sacrifice.

All this is to say - you don't see half the sacrifices people who have a level of expertise make. There's an assumption of ease where there absolutely should not be one. No one is asking you to sacrifice like that. No one is saying you're lesser for not making that sacrifice. What folks are saying is respect the sacrifices they made to get the knowledge they're trying to share with you. They're often trying to give you what they had to pay with a good chunk of their lives for. Take it or leave it, don't attack them. It is not gatekeeping to recognize that, where spirituality overlaps with history and other topics, there are correct answers that can be found if you look. That's just reality.

Also learning on your own is not the same as having access to an education or to the internet even. Our ancestors did not always have people to study from. Practices like spirit work, divination, and magic developed independently all over the world. There were plenty of interrupted lineages in there too. I think people forget that you can learn these skills through experimentation and observation. People literally can't keep you from this path of learning. Whether you choose to take it is up to you. Whether it's worth the sacrifice - only you can say.

So vast majority of ways I’m seeing people use the word gatekeeping just do not meet the criteria. Watering that word down robs it of it’s ability to name a very specific threat which is especially damaging to use trans folks who use it to call out medical discrimination. The vast majority of instances I see it used in are where someone is expressing an opinion. They may be wildly off base but as long as they’re not spreading truly harmful ideologies, they're entitled to it. Different opinions are not gatekeeping - they’re a natural part of any community and we have to have a level of tolerance for that. That discomfort you feel is an invitation to meet your shadow, understand your discomfort, and prioritize what actually moves your practice forward.

[silenthillmutual]

I beg your pardon! It’s me who is going mad.

So, I know I did a Twitter thread about the ways Daniil is manipulated in Classic, and I thought I’d put it on here too.

I’m going to stop short of calling it gaslighting here though, because too many people are using that term who don’t really understand what it means. Gaslighting is specifically a form of abuse where the intention is to make the victim feel they are going insane. Not all manipulation or abuse is gaslighting - which doesn’t make it less bad, just...not gaslighting.

That being said: in Classic, there are quite a few times where Daniil can say that he thinks he’s losing his mind, and there are times when the game seems constructed to make you feel this way. Particularly I had in mind the ending of the game, and not just the part where you find out you’re a toy and always have been (that falls more under cosmic horror). What bugs me about the end and how that fits into things, is the fact that the Sand Pest and its outcomes have been chasing you - the clouds, the angels, the muggers, the firestarters, the rats, literally chasing you through houses and through town, only for all of it to completely vanish without a trace on the exact day you’re meant to give a solution to it all. I made a point on Twitter about how people attempting to gaslight you will submit you to a large amount of damage - physical, verbal, emotional, take your pick - and then remove the abuse and any signs of it just before they’re caught. it’s how they show to others that it’s you who’s the problem, not them. 

Regardless of whether you think the intention is to make Daniil feel he’s losing is sanity or not, the question would be who is manipulating Daniil, and why? There are a couple answers.

The first answer is the Town. The first playthrough as the Bachelor of the game is probably the closest fitting to psychological horror as the game gets. Like Silent Hill, the Town is full of horrors that seem tailor-made to torture Daniil specifically: most of these people are uneducated (the Town doesn’t even have a school), their cultural beliefs (mostly appropriated from the steppe culture) actively prevent him from doing his job as a doctor, his word and name are constantly weaponized by people with ulterior motives, and men run around on the first two days beating women to death or burning them alive and intervening actively costs you reputation - which you need to do anything. He arrives with the hope of finding evidence to keep his lab opening and, as we later learn, keep himself from execution, only to find that both the man who would serve as this evidence and the colleague who informed you of his existence have been murdered just before your arrival. You have a lot of things riding on your success, and everything about where you are is actively working against you. The government wants you to find a cure single-handedly, but the Town has other plans for you. 

And those plans are: errand boy, and scapegoat. People throughout the Town will inform you that they are scared of you when you’ve barely interacted with them, let alone in ways that should inspire fear. It doesn’t matter how good your reputation as Daniil is (and through the course of the game, there’s very little you’re made to do that lowers your reputation, and it never gets bad enough for you to be attacked on the street or refused sale from shops), what matters is the fact that everyone in Town, from the nameless NPCs to the rulers, are putting every bad thing they’ve done down as being your fault. 

But the Town has another way it’s manipulating Daniil, by almost making him a member of it. I don’t think I got a screenshot, but I’m sure that somewhere along the line Daniil comments that he’s starting to talk like one of the townsfolk. You can see this happens to Andrey, too, later in the game; he talks in what Daniil calls “Griefisms”. 

You have been sent here to fight an adversary that inherently cannot be beaten - in foolish hopes that a miracle would happen and your outstanding mind would stumble upon a once-in-a-million chance. And just so that you wouldn’t give up, they kept insisting that the adversary must be destroyed. Do you see how insidious the Powers That Be are?     > But why? Their motives are becoming less and less comprehensible to me by the day.

The second answer is the Powers That Be.

Three people enter the Town that the Powers That Be want to get rid of: the Bachelor, the Inquisitor, and the Commander. It wants them all to fix or solve or demolish something in the town, and doesn’t really care what happens to any of them. Pathologic 2 spells it out clearer for you that Aglaya, Block, and Daniil will all be executed upon return to the Capital if their answers are not what the Powers That Be want to hear. And for the time that you are in the Town as Daniil Dankovsky, the Powers That Be - like the town itself - actively work against you. The trains that are meant to bring food and medication never, to my knowledge, arrive, and most days bring about a new letter from the Powers spelling out for you how disappointed in you and your progress they are. Some of the ways they attempt to manipulate Daniil through these letters are subtle, but most of them are unsubtle suggestions that what he’s been able to accomplish is not good enough, that he was meant to work alone.

Even one of your first letters from them is suspicious; early on in the game, they write to let you know that they are in no way responsible for the outbreak, which is an incredibly suspicious thing to say. What is the point of sending such a letter? Would the player have really thought that they were if they hadn’t suggested as much through denial? After all, what called you to Town was a letter from Isidor Burakh. But yet, the Powers That Be are the ones who leave you stranded in the Town with limited resources, no help, and constantly shifting goalposts. Aglaya makes this clear to you when she arrives: you were never supposed to be successful. 

The letters from the Powers That Be do not serve any purpose other than to upset Daniil, and most if not all of them contain lies: that a train will be arriving, that they don’t mind if you have help in carrying out your plans, that Thanatica still exists, referencing conversations you’ve never had, signing drafts of letters you didn’t consult on with your name. One of the reasons i had put this down as gaslighting is because people who gaslight like to keep you off balance and emotionally fragile so that you’re easier to manipulate. You’ll do whatever they want to make the feeling stop, because you just can’t handle the stress anymore, and in the process you come across to others as unreasonable, unhinged, crazy, dangerous, so that no one will trust you. And that’s exactly how Daniil starts to come across to the townspeople: deranged, strung out, dangerous, untrustworthy.

You can contrast all that to a different letter they send you where they claim to be proud to call you one of your own. Combine the two, and you get honeymooning. They want to remind you of the good (or at least, not-as-bad) times you’ve had with them. This behavior serves two, sometimes three purposes: to keep you off balance from the violent back-and-forth, dizzying nature of what they’re doing to you, and so that you’ll defend them to people who can see what’s going on and want to get you out of it. You’ll even convince yourself that you’re not really being mistreated. If you were being abused, would they be so nice to you? 

You are the last friend our family has. I hope our attachment to you doesn’t look obtrusive.      > It requires too much from me. I’m not comfortable with it.     > No, not at all. 

The third answer is the Kains. Specifically, Georgiy and Maria repeatedly manipulate Daniil, though I’ve no doubt in the text above Victor stating their attachment to Daniil is also a manipulation, and one possibly planned by either or perhaps both of them. The text above probably looks normal, but think about the purpose it serves: to reinforce that Daniil is friendly with the Kains. Your only two options are to say that it doesn’t bother you, or to express that you feel your boundaries are being violated by their attention. But I even thinking about picking that option... Well, it feels mean. 

Throughout the game, people will comment on Maria’s attachment to you and what they feel is your predestination to be romantically paired with her. All this, despite the fact that you don’t really interact with her that much. I’ve seen this be explained as forced heterosexuality, but I think it also is a way of the Kains manipulating Daniil into doing what they want. Daniil gets upset whenever people cry; when children cry, he tries to calm them and fix whatever’s upset them - there’s an entire sidequest after the army arrives in which Daniil kills a group of soldiers, spurred into action by upset children. Whenever he encounters Maria crying, he reacts with discomfort, and she uses these tears and upset to manipulate Daniil into thinking Aglaya has lied to him, effectively distancing him from one of the only people in the game with a rational mind to show him support and tell him the truth. I don’t think the two are in any way unconnected. Something abusers, manipulators, gaslighters love to do is isolate you so that you only have one source of information to go to. If they cut you off from other people, they can continue to feed off of you. You’ll never have a chance to question if what you’re being told about yourself or others is correct, you’ll just be a constant supply of drama for them. 

DANIIL: Was there any particularly notable backstory? I’m deadly tired of all these people. They’re inhuman. They tell the future, believe in walking zombies, and die in all manners of painfully abnormal ways. 

AGLAYA: Your line of thinking is obviously fallacious - and I was implying something rather mundane. I promise you no one can really tell the future around here and neither are deaths inspired by third parties uncommon. Mysterious phenomenons do occur here sometimes... but hardly more often than anywhere else.

You can see, first, the effect all this has had on Daniil, how dispiriting the past several days have been to him. But you can also see here exactly why a family that prides itself on multi-generational reincarnation and manipulation through “fortune-telling” wants to keep its blunt instrument in the dark. 

That is, ultimately, why they are manipulating Daniil. Georgiy knows full well when he tells Daniil at the beginning that everyone, even himself, will lie to Daniil, that being that honest upfront is more likely to lead Daniil to trusting him. They want to sway him to their cause; this is why you are told that your success here depends on the wellbeing of the people Maria considers useful: herself, her father and uncle - who she gets out of the way later on to come into her power, the architects of the Polyhedron - which she will use to ascend to power, and the theatre director who has pledged himself to be her loyal servant. Eva’s on the list, too, but her inclusion was deliberately set up to make you depend on the Kains later in the game, considering that it’s Maria who convinced her to commit suicide:

DANIIL: Why did Eva die then? AGLAYA: I have a distinct suspicion she was made to die. DANIIL: By whom?  AGLAYA: One of the Kains. I’d even go so far as to claim that they may have performed human sacrifice.

It’s a two-for-one deal: try in vain to make a Focus of the Cathedral, and remove from Daniil the last piece of influence who was not totally in love with Maria. Maria “cries” and is “upset” at you for thinking Eva’s death is her fault, but no one directly tells you Maria is responsible - all Aglaya does is tell you the Kains are at fault. The rest is just you remembering how nasty Maria was about Eva at the beginning of the game. I wouldn’t even say that Maria was removing a rival for Daniil’s affection. She really does only view Daniil as an object: if you speak to her on day 12, she assumes that you’re leaving, and doesn’t even ask you to stay (for kicks, contrast this with either ending of Pathologic 2 when you speak to Daniil as Artemy, where he’s supposed to be your rival. what was all that about Maria being in love with you...?); he’s not even present in his own ending cutscene. Even Mark Immortell says you’re leaving -

And actually, that’s a really fascinating conversation you can have with him on day 12. It’s where the game outright admits exactly what Aglaya told you: it’s all fake. Maria cannot really see the future, you’ve just been manipulated the entire game to achieve someone else’s goals, and unless you’ve gone around and saved Artemy’s or Clara’s bound, it’s too late for you to turn back and make a different decision. If you’ve picked Daniil’s ending, you just destroyed an entire town on the basis of outright lies. 

[shinra-makonoid]

You are stooping down to gaslighting and using strawmen because you aren't capable of debunking her sources. Face it. Real reliable science with subjects more than 10 homosexual females or males whos sexuality is the real reason for the differences aren't representative and there won't be representative ones for your sexist claims of brain sex. Transgenders or transsexuals aren't real. The only thing one can claim about you people is having a mental illness and delusions towards your own identity. Biology = reality and reality doesn't lie. If she's wrong why don't you refute her with actual arguments instead of childishly accusing her of bullying or mocking a person who's clearly lacking the scientific know-how to talk about theses subjects, wildly spreading wrong disproved studies and researches?

It always bothers me when people use the word gaslighting incorrectly and weirdly enough, it’s always radical feminists. From one female to another female (since that is the only way you can have any empathy) I would ask you to stop stepping on victim of abuse and neglect who lived through gaslighting, by using that word and destroy its meaning. 

Gaslighting is when your abuser tell you that your abuse didn’t actually happen and that you might be crazy for thinking you did. It causes long lasting damages to the psyche and self trust of the person, especially when it’s done when they’re a child. It does not mean, having cognitive dissonance due to the fact that you doubt the way you perceive reality due to arguments made. Those are not the same.

_

Anyway, for the fourth time, I didn’t try to debunk her. I literally didn’t. I know you think in black and white and that you’re either against or pro something, but I don’t care about grey matter in transsexuals, and I don’t care about whether they have the same grey matter as their gender or not. It’s inconsequential, I live in the real world where people don’t talk about grey matter to decide whether someone exist as the gender they are. The same could be said about mental illnesses in general, or any neurodevelopmental sickness. We don’t put people through MRI to decide whether they’re actually depressed or not, we don’t check their grey matter to know about that either. 

Scientists research those stuff because they want to understand better how it works, not because they want to prove it exists. The existence proof has passed long ago when they realized people wanted to transition to the opposite sex. The current state of research try to understand why. You see that people are clinically depressed, before wondering what are the mechanism in that mental health issue. You don’t try to prove the people that are clinically depressed are actually really clinically depressed, it would be complete nonsense.

Real reliable science with subjects more than 10 homosexual females or males whos sexuality is the real reason for the differences aren't representative and there won't be representative ones for your sexist claims of brain sex.

First, again that’s misunderstanding the scientific research. Especially on brain neurology, you will have studies showing your claim and the opposite. For example, in another field, homeopathy (which doesn’t work), you can find studies showing that it works. The reason we know it doesn’t work, is because for one that works (with double blind and everything), you have a dozen that doesn’t work, we have meta-analysis showing it doesn’t work. We don’t even have a dozen of studies on grey matter in transsexuals. We probably don’t even have a hundred of studies regarding brains of transsexual in general. It’s a very niche subject. Anyone having any kind of conclusion regarding specific brain parts (in one way or another), is, to me, not safe. You are free to believe however you want though, but this doesn’t make it factual.

Second, even the person in the other thread acknowledged that males and females had sexually dimorphic brains. The questions isn’t about brain sex, the questions is about whether transsexuals have a brain more alike the opposite sex or not. But again, that doesn’t matter, because even if it was actually disproven, that still wouldn’t mean transsexuals don’t have something different than cis people, which they do.

Transgenders or transsexuals aren't real.

Which directly disprove that. But even without talking about studies, because again, it’s inconsequential, people do grow up as one sex and then transition and feel better as the opposite sex. Meaning it does exist, independently of whether you think they do or not.

The only thing one can claim about you people is having a mental illness and delusions towards your own identity.

You don’t know what delusion means. And if you have a mental illness that makes you feel better as the opposite sex and resist psychological treatment (to this day no study showed you could cure someone’s transsexualism through therapy, it has been tried, and transsexuals have been to conversion therapy too), then this is exactly what I’m claiming transsexualism is, and we both agree that it does exist. Biology = reality, neurological issues are biological realities.

This is the current state of what we actually do know: gender dysphoria is a state of being causing distress that is not curable through therapy and that make people who transition feel better in their body and mind, there is no proof of environmental factors contributing to it, but biological factors exist. That’s accurate independently of whether they truly have a brain similar the opposite sex or not.

Biology = reality and reality doesn't lie. If she's wrong why don't you refute her with actual arguments instead of childishly accusing her of bullying or mocking a person who's clearly lacking the scientific know-how to talk about theses subjects, wildly spreading wrong disproved studies and researches?

Because again, my issue with her post was that she was specifically talking “as a scientist” to have better weight in her argument (which is in itself manipulative), making claim (that grey matter thing in transsexual was disproven) without having the tools or the knowledge to actually know. Because even scientists working on these fields don’t know. What I was criticizing was the misinformation she spread while claiming to be a scientist. I don’t know if she is factually wrong or not (nobody in the world knows, scientists who are working on specifically on these subject must be counted on one hand and probably don’t have a clear idea either), but if she is right, she is right for wrong reasons, and she used her title as a way to get leverage in the argumentation. Which is what I was criticizing.

This is the thing I have an issue with, but you are all so uninterested in science compared to your feminist ideology you don’t really care about epistemology or the scientific method, or the trust relationship between the public and scientists. But who’s surprised? Considering you yourself spread misinformation regarding sexual differences between males and females. Feminism thrives on it, so you actually have no reason to want people to be better informed.

I didn’t say she was bullying someone, I said she was mocking him, which she was. The other person is not claiming to be a scientist, and I don’t agree with his take either. But he at least doesn’t claim to be a scientist in neurology to give more weight to his arguments. 

Scientists talking out of their ass for studies and research, out of the scope of their field, really strikes my nerves because of reasons I developed in the other posts. You have things like these happening, because scientists aren’t careful with their words. People then believe them, because as a scientist you have “an aura” that will make you be more believed than your average person, it’s an appeal to authority, and it isn’t okay. Just because you fall for it because it satisfy your need to be right and see the world the way you think it exists, doesn’t mean we all should.

[anangelicday-mrwolf]

Wolfsbane : Noblesse Fanfic (post-ending)

(previous chapter)

Chapter 6 – Frankenstein’s Secret

“Goddamn it.”

Frankenstein spat out a contemptuous grumble, stowing away his Dark Spear. His goal was to keep the monster in his grip for 3 minutes, but the stopwatch in his pocket was marked with digits 1 and 13, a record 30 seconds shorter than the previous one.

Despite the shortness of time lapse, the chamber looked utterly disastrous, plastered with dark purple on every corner of its floor, walls, and ceiling. Frankenstein could not help marveling how he was standing on pieces of tiles instead of their particles.

“This is gonna cost me another series of days and nights,” said Frankenstein in a biting tone, looking around the calamity he brought upon the chamber once again.

Ever since the nuclear missile launch by Crombell, there had been several changes Frankenstein met.

First, for example, the number of vacancies in his house at Seoul increased. Second, the name engraved on the nameplate in the Ye Ran chairman’s office is no longer his. Third, the diplomatic relation between Lukedonia and wolfkind is now completely and literally on the bright side.

Yes, quite a lot has changed, but what Frankenstein just forced himself to encounter was the biggest and most noteworthy change. And a bad change.

Unlike before, Frankenstein’s power turned unimaginably unstable. The degree of instability was nothing like before. Now a mere act of summoning the Dark Spear has become, metaphorically, trying to make an ice cube stay perfectly unscathed while slamming down a gigantic hammer onto it in full power.

And the missile launch was the genesis of such catastrophic change. Or rather, it all began the minute Frankenstein felt his bond to his master shattered.

*****

Fifteen days ago, when the bond from his contract with Raizel was destroyed, Frankenstein was tortured by the aftermath of his loss. He felt as if the most fundamental root of his soul was broken down. He felt as if he were a prisoner to the extinction of his entire time and existence. Most of all, he felt as if every biological molecule of his body was detonated, and oh-good-heavens, how it hurt.

It was more than a loss. A mother would have deemed it the death of her child. A patriot would have dubbed it the day his country was eternally conquered. Juliet would have identified it the moment she saw Romeo fallen about her. And it hurt.

His pain burned his entity even when he with the rest of his fellow fighters returned to his home. Which is why the first thing he did upon stepping through his door was to make everyone promise that they will leave him alone for a while, so that he could let his powers screech and shriek and scream in mourning annihilation, in a special chamber under the ground.

His control was totally lost as he roared in the center of a storm of black and purple. The last bit of his sense of responsibility forbid him of pulling out his weapon, but he brandished his dark power so viciously even Gradeus would grovel, begging for his mentorship.

The only time in the past he had ever unleashed his power without restraint was when he lost the tug-of-war against his own power and forfeited his mind.

And he had rather wished he would lose his mind, for the pain was unendurable to handle with his sanity intact. Much to his dismay and heartbreak, his mind was at full function, incising his foundational essence with psychological, emotional, and spiritual trauma.

After whipping up a tempest of maddening woe, he fell asleep into a nightmare.

... ....... ...

‘...What?’

... .... r.. s.. F....

‘...What’s that noise?’

..F.. f... n....

‘What...? I can’t hear you...’

...Fr... ...tei... n....

‘I said I can’t hear you... It hurts.’

Frankenstein groaned, enveloped by mysterious noises echoing from eerie darkness.

...s.. s...

‘Shut up. I don’t wanna hear you... Just leave me alone.’

...ss... B...

‘Shut. Up. Just leave me alone...’

..ss. Bo...ss...

‘Please!!!!!’

“Boss!!!!!”

Noises resembling cacophony from unfocused radio were outdistanced by a familiar voice, and Frankenstein’s eyes frantically flashed open as if he were electrocuted.

Almost at the same time, his upper body slashed through the air in elevation, only to shrivel due to bone-wrecking pain that hit his whole body like a lightning.

Forcing himself to ignore his joints writhing in complaint as the result of his rampage, Frankenstein turned his eyes towards the source of the voice and ended up staring directly into the eyes of a man with black-hair-studded-with-white-locks. His eyes were trembling in uneasiness as he was kneeled by Frankenstein’s side.  

“...What are you doing here, Tao?”

“W-what do you mean, what am I doing here? I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“I’m bushed, not brainless. And I know same could be said of you. I’m asking how you got in here, ‘cause I do remember sealing the chamber before... Before all this.”

“Uh... Well...”

Tao, instead of answering, directed his gaze beyond his shoulder, onto the door that was nearly dissipated into debris.

That was a cue for Frankenstein to take in the status of the special chamber designed to cloak and stand against Dark Spear’s power. The door was the least damaged component of the chamber, he noticed. Wherever he locked his eyes upon was marred by dark-purple blurs, as if the apocalypse itself dawned upon the room while Frankenstein was in dark frenzy.

“I could feel your power from up there, so I had to come down. What on earth happened here?”

“...I couldn’t help it.”

Frankenstein hoped he would not have to waste his energy talking, but Tao mouthed something incoherent, hinting that he needed to hear more.

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

“Uh... Actually, I’ve been watching you for roughly a minute.”

“...And?”

“That is, I’ve been watching you asleep. Or I think you were asleep. But when you were on the floor... I could see the Dark Spear’s aura rippling from your body.”

Tao then pointed towards the ceiling behind Frankenstein. There was a crevasse huge enough to hold the Eiffel Tower, dripping with purple aura that Frankenstein could identify anywhere, anytime.

“When I walked up to you, you started to mumble something. And that made the Dark Spear’s aura surge and do that. I would’ve thought you were showing off how strong you can be while on your back, if only I hadn’t seen how your eyes were closed, and your breathing was stable.”

Showing off how strong I am on my back? I don’t recollect beating your head that hard during our past trainings. In normal circumstances, Frankenstein would have jokingly retorted as so.

‘I emitted Dark Spear’s power during sleep?’

This was not the first time his control over the Dark Spear slipped during sleep. His past is an archive of numerous attempts and failures in governing the damned weapon.

However, now his failures are history, a record of his efforts in making friends with the Dark Spear. Ever since he honed his mastery of the Spear, he has never lost grip of his reins, regardless of the intensity or numeral degree of souls the Spear has absorbed.

He was aware that this time, out of his loss and pain, he deliberately bombarded the chamber with his power. He even considered throwing away his reasons to turn into a mad dog. Nevertheless, he did not plan at all to actually lose his control. And the level of damage was way beyond his calculation or expectation.

This chamber was repaired and improved at the time when he made a mimicry of Raizel’s seal with the power of the Dark Spear. In consideration of the chances that the Dark Spear will absorb increasingly stronger souls in the course of struggle against the Union, Frankenstein compounded the chamber’s cloaking integration and defense against Dark Spear’s power. Yet the chamber’s door was nearly unhinged, and Tao even picked up his power from dozens of meters above.

“Boss?”

Tao nervously called Frankenstein’s name, his voice now thicker with concern. Frankenstein had to intentionally change the subject, as he detected fear unparallel in Tao’s eyes.

“...What’s keeping the rest of the team?”

“...For some reason, Takio and M-21 suddenly left for school.”

“And Seira? Regis? Rael?”

“T-they left after they told me they’ll be away for a bit. So did Sir Karious. Since they asked me not to look for them for a while, unless it is absolutely necessary, I doubt they’ll be back by the end of the day.”

“Really...? Good.”

“No, it’s not good! Nothing is good! How can you say it’s good when something is obviously wrong with...”

“Yes, it is. Because I have just one person to silence on this matter.”

Tao gaped at him, quietly questioning his words. Frankenstein straightened his face, serious and devoid of fatigue from days of combat.

“I need a favor, Tao.”

Certain that his house will be empty, the next day, with Tao’s assistance, Frankenstein fixed his chamber as his time and resources allowed for an experiment: using a sample of rapidly-working sleep inducer to see if he loses his control over his weapon whenever he falls asleep.

The results from multiple rounds of experiments that therefore took place were neither helpful nor hopeful, for the Dark Spear’s aura leaked every time he was in slumber.

He wished he was mistaken. Or too imaginative. Or too tired and thus delirious. However, the fact that he always woke up to find Tao (who was in charge of injecting him with rapidly-working awakening drug before things got out of hand) wearing apprehension matching his own killed his hope.

“Maybe... Maybe this is because the Dark Spear absorbed the Blood Stone Crombell was using, at the end of your last battle with Crombell.”

And a hypothesis Tao offered to bring about a change in the atmosphere slaughtered his hope.

Frankenstein cursed the Blood Stone and its copies, as they were the direct or indirect cause of pain and damage for his master and those he held in his heart. But now the abominable stone was part of the Dark Spear – part of him.

The second the terrible realization swept through him, Frankenstein was urged to rip his own skin off his body out of self-abhorrence that exploded like a volcano.

And that was the reason why Frankenstein decided to leave Korea after Raizel’s return. The main reason, of course, was to discover the secret behind Raizel’s return as well as reinvigoration: to find out how in the world the Noblesse managed to not only rise from death but also become healthier than before.

On the other hand, he wanted to secretly resolve his secret. He wanted to separate pieces of the Blood Stone from Dark Spear in one way or another. And in the meantime, he wanted to somehow stabilize his power back to normal.

Hence he had to stay awake with his wolfsbane tonic, in order to prevent himself from discharging Dark Spear’s aura in sleep and to find command over the Blood Stone stuck in his weapon.

‘And here I am, not making progress at all. God, this thing would trash harder and harder whenever I pull it out.’

Sighing heavily, Frankenstein fell to the floor as he was engrossed in thoughts, speculating for how long would he be able to keep his secret a secret when he is now entrusted with Muzaka’s favor.

Until very recently, he has been wary only of his master. Although there is a link between their minds based on their contract, Raizel respected him. He would never inspect his loyal servant’s mind even if he wants to. In other words, his master would be unaware of his distress as long as he is careful. And since he happens to be away from Raizel, technically there is not a chance of getting caught in action by the Noblesse.

In fact, the greatest threat for him as of now is the secret agent Muzaka dispatched for him.

So far Lunark has noted nothing. But there is no guarantee he can keep it that way, especially when that afternoon he could see how attentive and observant she is. And much more interested in him than he had wanted.

‘Hang on. Want? Want what?’

Startled by his own thought, he soon reprimanded himself.

‘What could you possibly want from her, Frankenstein? She may not be an enemy any longer, but she is still the one to be most wary of.’

Pushing back the bitter ache somewhere in his body that rose out of unknown reason, Frankenstein calmed his breathing.

He was already plagued with tons of worries, but he knew what he had to do – get rid of his secret as fast as he can, without letting Lunark learn what is occupying his mind and soul.

‘I should borrow Tao’s hand if I have to. He is the only one who shares my secret.’

As soon as he recalled Tao’s name for once, the three initial members of the RK whom Frankenstein had left behind in Korea popped up in his mind.

‘Which reminds me, I wonder how they are doing with their duties.’

(next chapter)

Yes, this is the reason why Frankenstein had to leave Korea (at least in my fic) in addition to his new quest in discovering the secret behind Rai’s miraculous return to life, which will surely be discussed in this fic later on.

I figured it wouldn’t be so bad to decide that Frankenstein’s Dark Spear (hence his power) got unstable because of the Blood Stone that Crombell used before his demise. In fact, in the last episode of Noblesse Frankie did mention that Dark Spear will be unstable for a while because it absorbed Crombell and his Blood Stone.

Next up, we’ll be revisiting Korea to take a look at a couple familiar faces, one of whom will be an unexpected character long forgotten. :)

[scuttleboat]

510 reactions

INDRA IS THE BEST OMG lol I love her so much. If she had a morning alarm app it would be "Rise and face the day. You will die, but proudly, and that is good." *beep*

Gaia was an fun surprise this episode and I loved pretty much every scene she had with Indra. The fight was great.

I loved the assassination attempt and I loved Octavia's reaction to it? That was the one really unpredictable moment in the episode for me and I thought the suspense > to > diffusion of tension by throwing back the spear was just... wonderful. In an episode with some great dialogue and some painfully creaky dialogue, that little screenwriting moment was a delight. It was the most #powermove thing that Bloodreina could do in that moment and that speaks in interesting ways to how she's become so sensitive to politics and drama while becoming so desensitized to the people around her.

The Blake stuff was all the drama I could ever want and I think Bob and Marie showed off their wonderful screen chemistry. But I admit I'm a little unsure what this means for Bellamy's character? This feels like it should have been a turning point for him. His insistence not to fight felt genuine up to the moment, and then he did fight, like I was expecting. I guess I wanted more out of that moment? Like, that should feel like a huge thing--his choice to survive over waiting for Octavia to save him--but somehow, it didn't? Nor did it feel like a switch that really indicates him in person conflict over his near- pacifism stuff. I think it was the fact that Monty arrived and saved the day, there preventing Bellamy from actually having to hurt someone he considers an ally in order to survive. So he skates by on being Soft Bellamy still, in the episode where I was hoping he'd be a little bit more of Rough Bellamy. I've been thinking that he has a building up of internal conflict this season wrt "can I be the new me or the old me?" and I was hoping we'd see that reach a major point this episode. Now I'm not quite sure if that's what they're doing with him. I'll have to wait to see. If Bellamy's major conflict really is just about his sibling and his childhood this season, that would feel like a missed opportunity. I want some meaty self-examination!

The other sibling got a solid WHOLE EPISODE of self-examination, lol. Marie was splendid. It veered between powerful and heavily melodramatic. The whole mirror thing was WAY over the top cliche. Come on, t100. Come on, HIC. You can be a little better than that! And "You can't save someone who's already dead." Really? Okay then. I guess it's not t100 if there aren't at least two lines per episode that make me roll my eyes. Even the good episodes! Which this was, to be fair. For about 90% of it I was quite entertained, although I think it's too dark to have a fun rewatch factor. Snarkiness aside though, I did enjoy seeing the dark workings of the soul of a female character being given such deliberation on screen. Octavia Blake genuinely is a unique character in television, and is allowed to go places female characters rarely are. I feel like my read on Octavia this season has been dead on correct: to her, Bloodreina = Wonkru and Wonkru = Bloodreina. Octavia doesn't see herself as a person anymore, just as the figurehead of this system. She is also terrified of everything and Bloodreina is her only way of facing world she created so that her people could survive. She can't give up being Bloodreina, therefore she can't give Wonkru to someone else because if Wonkru and Bloodreina can exist separately, that flies in the face of "all of me for all of us", which is the only thing that kept her and everyone else sane (mostly) in the bunker. If that's structure falls apart or if Octavia loses it, then all she has is the memories of the terrible things she did. And even if she did it to save them all, to lead them to the next day and the next, without Wonkru she would have to bear those memories alone, and she cannot.

Hmm what else? 

The flashbacks to their childhood on the Ark was very moving. I liked getting more details of their life. I liked the balance between the weight & pain Bellamy endured to protect Octavia and the weight & terror Octavia endured being raised as the source of fear for her family. It was clear that the trauma of the Ark was terrible for them both, infecting even happy the memories.

Monty telling Octavia no was a classic Monty moment. I liked his scene a lot, but tbh I was hoping for something a little more creative or complex in how they used him? One of the drawbacks of this episode's slower, more character-based tone is that it seemed fairly predictable what was going to happen from scene to scene. That's why I like the moment when she threw back the spear, because I genuinely didn't know how that scene was going to go. Monty saving the day with flowers though was not exactly shocking when it came around. I feel like a reaction video to this episode will just be a consecutive sequence of "hmmm" and "HMMMM" and "ooh nice" and "okay then if you must", none of it rising above conversational tone.

I liked the bunker departure scene because we got to see everyone in the open sunlight. That was nice. Octavia's blood makeup was so ~artistic walking out of that bunker, you know she had to apply it and wash it and re-apply it 2 times at least. I've been there, girl.

The farm burning means the bunker society idea is torched and I'm sighing a little over that. Do we REALLY need to write out EVERY possible solution with salt-the-earth finality? Where is this series gonna end, with 11 people on a life raft floating out to sea? If there is a sea, still. This show is so bonkers.

The stuff with the chip is still firmly in my zone of "but really DO WE HAVE TO BE DOING THIS?" but it could have been worse. I was confused at one moment when Madi said "I just put it back in." Maybe I need to re-watch it, but I honestly don't understand that line. Was that the A.I. talking through Madi, claiming her as a host? Or was that Madi saying she'd taken it out and in again?

The Lexa stuff was just.. can we not. Give the child. Memories of her mom's dead lover. That's so skeevy on so many levels, and that's skeevy BEFORE even getting into the 'lover' part of Clarke's past with Lexa.

So... Becca was burned alive as a witch by Cadogan? Or whoever. That seems really weird to me. Like, super out of place for the show. I don't understand how that fits into t100 at all, since the people burning her were like, people from future-modern New England and shit. Even if I started living in a Mad Max Society tomorrow, I don't think 4 years of apocalypse would be enough to convert me to the idea that "Yeah, you know what humanity's real problem is? SPACE WITCHERY. Let's just BURN HER." How does that even come up? I totally get it if they blamed her for killing the world, and if the mob executed her for it. I also get it if they distrust the A.I. she brought down. But come on, they'd just shoot her! That's what you do with rich people when the end comes and everybody's backs are against the wall. They wouldn't waste firewood for a witch burning; that's ridiculous.

I have a feeling like they're gonna leave the chip in Madi. I hope not. My best case scenario for this unnecessary plot they forced us into is that by experiencing the memories, Madi retrieves some vital piece of new information that will help save everyone. Maybe she finds out what is going on with the other Elegius mission, since Becca worked on that stuff. Hopefully then Madi can take it out? But honestly, the fact that it seems like the show is going to decide "well we'll leave it in if she says she wants it" is really uncomfortable for me. If she couldn't consent to getting it last episode, she can't consent to keeping it this episode. The same problems with the situation exist regardless of whether Madi thinks she's getting something valuable out of it, or if it makes her feel powerful in a world where she is otherwise powerless. Letting a child use dangerous mind altering substances to help them feel more powerful and safe is NOT the same thing as actually keeping that child safe or empowered. It's the opposite of that. Of course, Clarke can't really do much about that right now without re-traumatizing Madi on top for the trauma she's already experiencing. But the longer they leave it in, the harder it will be to remove without psychological damage if Madi's developing brain becomes dependant on it. Because, you know, SHE'S ELEVEN. Maybe twelve? But her brain is literally growing, as children's brains do, and right this second it's growing with a cyber-parasite shaping it. That seems profoundly wrong and gross to me. ...Ideally they give it to Gaia or Indra. Just let them have it.

Oh that's a bit of a down note to end on? I am not sure where this takes us, but I think the episode was good. I'm not sure it was actually the episode they needed it to be though. It seemed to accomplish several things, but I'm not sure the particular things that it accomplished were the best choices. Vinson finally eating people was lulzy. I just wish the stuff that Abby was doing in that scene wasn't filmed and directed in such an amateur looking way. But finally, SOME CANNIBALISM! Now we wait til next week to see what else comes out.

[agenderarcee]

this is so good it's filling my head with Ideas

thinking about the commander anne reunion it's almost funny how sasha was clearly STUNNED that anne was treating her so nicely after she had been planning out how to beg for forgiveness for months. i like the idea that this leads to her idealizing anne's compassion (which we can also see some of in the finale). so she does try really hard to be better but she also can't help being disappointed whenever anne doesn't act like the perfect saint she's built her up to be, and she tries to hide that but of course anne the empath Knows and it just makes her put more pressure on herself to be Good and Fine and Fully Realized as a Person at Age Thirteen.

because anne owes it to everyone she's lost to not have any trace left of the selfish, weak girl they helped her grow out of being, right? if her time in amphibia didn't Complete her, if there's still more growing she could have done there but that was taken from her, then that's way too devastating to think about, isn't it? she NEEDS to believe that this was how it had to be, that this is just how the story goes. she needs to force herself to accept it. she has to love herself, and she has to make herself be worthy of that love.

on better days she remembers to be kinder to herself, but it's harder than she'd like to admit.

and so you get anne being perfect on the surface but putting so much pressure on herself, and sasha just adding to that because she's so dependent on that version of anne as her source of inspiration and redemption, and anne loves sasha but this resentment starts building back up under the surface. sasha's so much more kind and attentive now, isn't she? she actively tries not to be controlling, so why does anne feel like she's still being forced into a box, forced to tamp down anger she never properly processed and ignore the lasting impact left by being used and lied to, just so sasha can feel better about herself? anne can't let herself think about it like that - sasha has worked so hard, this isn't fair to her - but it expresses itself anyway in the distance that builds up between them, even when they're supposed to finally be closer than ever.

and then like you said, when anne finally snaps sasha is angry because she thought they were past that and she had been forgiven, how much more do i have to flagellate myself before you'll just believe i'm sorry boonchuy, but i think after the explosiveness of the breakup she goes on a real self-loathing spiral. if nothing she did to redeem herself was ever really good enough, if she was never really forgivable, then is she just a monster? it feels so unfair, but is it just a fact, when she can't really undo the damage she's done?

i like the idea that her and marcy finally have some good online talks about their guilt with each other, and what it means to take responsibility for it, after sasha has been so much more focused on anne... talk about the figurative and literal scars they've left each other, and the less visible ones they left on anne - she seems so unblemished, but she's really not, huh? how do you deal with being the person who hurt someone so kind and good? what is forgiveness, anyway? thinking about these things more seriously might be what leads sasha to really study psychology, trying not just to heal but also to understand herself and her friends and all of their trauma. (this could also then contribute to sasha and marcy getting together before they date anne, and their shared determination to show anne that they'll still love her even if she really isn't as okay as she tries to be).

do you have any headcanons about sashanne high school breakup? i know it sucks thinking about the canon end timeline but that little mention in your demi anne comic was intriguing 👀

HEH...you know how anne says we can deal with our emotional baggage later and then never do. sorry for more amphibia criticism but the way they handled sashannes second reunion was so shitty and undramatic it pisses me off how they sweep everything under the rug and just make characters be happy and makeup like nothing.

so... heh. they get together i like to think at 15/16 bc they like each other ofc and have been stuck in this cutesy flirty banter ever since commanding together the rebellion, but there is also all these bottled up emotions that they never brought up and it goes like this:

when they get together as teens they like the version of each other they believe they know. sasha likes anne but when anne is now the emotionally distant one she's unfulfilled. sure anne is affectionate and shes great to her but whenever sasha tries to get the convo onto a more serious ground of Hey i Really REALLY Like You anne tends to play stupid and desperately makes her way out of the situation. heh. turns out dying and getting ripped from you the chance of ever being a child again because you know whats after death and specifically after YOUR death, leaving u with a nihilistic view of life where u just smile through it no matter what, isnt good for a highschool relationship with a newly reformed, takes everything seriously and wants to talk about everything, sasha waybright! thank u amphibia writers anne is 1000% okay after all this and she leads a completely normal happy life doesnt she!

and on annes end. she's deep down, waiting for sasha to betray her at one point. its kind of like, anne is not as committed to the rs as sasha is bc anne's emotionally disconnected. she refuses to think of herself and her own feelings which drives her to never face the fact she has trust issues, which in return means she never truly processed everything sasha did in amphibia and how thats deeply changed their relationship forever

and that all blows up in their faces eventually. sasha snaps at anne for acting like theyre still just friends, anne snaps at sasha for acting like nothing ever happened, sasha snaps at anne, SAD, bc how dare u bring that up, not only was it YEARS ago but i apologized and u forgave me, i thought we were pass that, and anne snaps back at sasha surprised and upset with HERSELF because sasha is right, but also this situations making anne think of things she doesnt want to think and its too difficult. and they break up.

and yknow... bonus points for prom. one or two years after breakup. they decide to go together because somehow it feels weird to go with anyone else. by that point theyre barely talking at all so its surprising when sasha approaches anne to ask her but annes like yknow what. wouldnt have it any other way.

so they go to prom together and theyre cutesy and have Moments and dance together and have almost kiss moment and YOU KNOW WHAT. THEY FIGHT AGAIN. for the DAMN SAME STUFF its like a speedrun of that dating period they have but in 1 night and its the prom and god i love these vibes of shitty prom. it also adds, popular hc of marcy wanting to go to prom with sasha and anne so bad but shes away so she cant fulfill this dream. i see ur "marcy travels to la for prom and sashannarcy all go together" and i bring you "sashanne go together and fight, marcy is away and alone, no one gets what they fucking want" why? bc it is more interesting to think about and im tired of making these characters act like nothing fucking happened

amphibia was not just an adventure that is over with. shit happened and it affects them in the long run. anyways. what was the question

[neonstatic]

Everything wrong with 13RW

Firstly, the premise of the source book is distasteful and it should've never become a full show with 13 episodes of 1 hour each season.

The creators contacting health professionals to get advice on how to handle the themes in the show and ignoring ALL of the advice shows the little care given for “spreading a message” or “starting a conversation” (more like starting a controversy).

Now onto the points in which the show failed to convey a positive message in both season 1 & season 2.

I recommend watching this video for short indications on why the show does more bad than good.

And before anyone says anything, I am mentally ill and I study psychology so jot that down.

SEASON 1

Sensationalism of suicide

As a vehicle for vengeance (thru tapes)

As a tool to gain attention

The tapes are treated as words of truth and justice

If the tapes are ever criticized, it is done by characters featured on the tapes, which serves to delegitimize such opinions since they're the "bad guys" of the story

Act of committing suicide blamed on others (esp bad when the 11 persons’ wrongdoings cannot be equated in most cases)

Most people didn't deserve a tape:

Jessica cut ties with her over a misunderstanding

Zach emptied her encouragement mailbox (and quickly stopped after being called out) and she thought he threw away a personal letter she wrote him (this tape is extremely unwarranted)

Courtney claimed Hannah came onto her because she was afraid to be outed as lesbian but in the end, the photos and rumours affected them both anyway

Ryan published a poem of hers without her consent; disrespectful but not ill-intended

Clay walked away after she insisted for him to leave her alone (this tape is extremely unwarranted)

Sheri knocked down a sign and left Hannah out on the street because she didn’t want to call 911, which “caused” the death of a student (this tape is extremely unwarranted)

Those who deserved a tape (debatable in some cases):

Justin, for making up lies about her and spreading a revealing picture of her

Alex, for cutting ties, objectifying/publicly humiliating and submitting her to harassment in school

Bryce, for spreading a revealing picture of her and raping her

Marcus, for misleading, harassing and humiliating her in public

Tyler, for stalking and spreading pictures of [Courtney and] her

Mr Porter, for his very poor handling of her obvious distress

Hannah's story is no fair representation of real life

Technically, she’s a victim of social bullying (damaging someone's social reputation & lying and spreading rumours) but...

She's esp a victim of circumstances made by the creator - she's a fictional character whose purpose is to be a martyr in her story; in the real world, things would have played out much differently

Hannah tries to reach out once then gives up and justifies this bc the school counsellor didn't come running after her when she stormed out (again assuming ppl are mind readers)

Graphic rape scenes with the potential to trigger viewers - even those who aren’t survivors (replayed numerous times throughout the show as flashbacks)

Graphic and extended suicide scene (goes directly against professionals’ guidelines but screw vulnerable viewers I guess?)

Finality of suicide forgotten by the structure of narration = Hannah’s omnipresent even though she's literally dead, which grossly undermines the consequences of suicide

Adults portrayed as clueless and unable to help (not a good idea to put in teenagers’ head)

SEASON 2

Vague mention of mental illness

Implying anxiety runs in Hannah's maternal side but not diving into it

Sky being diagnosed with bipolar although there was no extensive portrayal of her symptoms (since she wasn’t onscreen for long) and immediately disappearing from the show while she’s the only character going through professional therapy and recovery (smth they would have rly benefited from showing)

Trivializing mental illness for plot use

Clay hallucinating Hannah - acknowledged but not addressed for being a serious psychotic symptom

Minors in sexual situations (too many times!)

Graphic scene of a brutal sexual battery (entirely for shock value, it didn’t have to be shown this way and you can't tell me otherwise)

Conflicting message regarding drug use

Severity of addiction (Justin getting clean then relapsing)

Recreational use (minors doing molly for fun... instead of marijuana which is less risky in comparison)

Trivializing school shooting

Advertisement tool (last episode of S1 heavily hinting at it)

Teased several times throughout the season

Blatant reference to Columbine

Not going through with it - worse move ever…

Irresponsible guide on how to approach an impulsive armed person

From a storytelling POV

Hannah the martyr

Hard to sympathize with when the tapes serve to exact vengeance more than it serves to explain how she felt and why she did what she did, making her manipulative at best

The fact that she was a bully herself in the past

(Plus being “shown” how Hannah was would've been better than being “told” how she was by other characters)

Overall terrible attempt at creating a suicide victim / mentally ill person ppl should sympathize with, the last thing the mentally ill needs is to be related to a character that is so easy to dislike

Clay as a main character

Lost his value since the story's progress doesn't rly depend on him (even tho we're forced to follow him)

Character development: he gets real snappy and no one calls him out? Increasingly unlikable

(Not that he was that likeable by the end of S1… spreading a naked picture of Tyler? #WelcomeToYourTape)

Tyler and his arc

Attempt at explaining the possible cause of school shooting? Failed.

Most school shooters aren’t victims of bullying, in fact many (if not all) are associated with hate groups like white supremacist, misogynists, etc.

Had plenty of reasons to commit suicide over mass shooting (and I don’t mean it in a ‘suicide can be justified’ sense but tbh besides his interest in guns, he’s never depicted as aggressively angry or remotely prone to violence)

Could've brought attention to male depression and male suicide far better than Alex’s story

Technical POV

Very lacking warnings. There should be hotlines at the end of every episode not at the beginning. Self-righteousness and superficial philosophy in both dialogue and narration show the shallowness and pretentiousness of the directors.

The show is presented as an objective representation instead of a media to consume and dissect and judge for oneself = in other words, the morale is laid out for you. Putting up content so shocking most of your target audience cannot watch for fear of being triggered is irresponsible. Trigger warnings don't solve that. Shooting implicit scenes and not explicit scenes is what protects viewers and still conveys the message.

Message

The show is depressing; there's barely any positive outcome. Every character is helpless to their situation. It would benefit greatly of some comic relief.

“We should be careful what we say to people.” Only when it comes to Hannah, everyone else we can be harsh to, apparently. “We should care more for people.” (True, but you can’t love depression away.) “We have power over nothing.” "We can't change anything.” “Adults don't understand us.” “We can't confide to anyone.” “We can't trust anyone.”

Seriously it's a fkg downer. This show highlights all the problems but gives no solution. You expect your audience of teenagers to figure it out for themselves? You expect your audience of teenagers to go out of their way to "start a conversation" with their parents over some sensationalist teen drama show? You must be kidding me. (Do you know how a conversation about 13RW goes? “I loved the show!” “I didn’t.” The end.)

Final note

The directors should have inserted a segment after each episode (or every couple) with the actors themselves discussing what happened to/between the characters and how it could have been handled better. If you want to act like your show is a PSA, treat it as such.